What about gay men and lesbians? Of course, same-sex relationships can
replicate unhealthy dynamics from the dominant culture. But by their
very nature, same-sex relationships "subvert the dominant paradigm" in
constructive ways. A romantic relationship between two men or two women
reminds us that biology alone isn't destiny, and that while a certain
degree of complementarity is surely present in any enduring
relationship, that complementarity doesn't require radically different
genitalia. Free online dating sites for lesbians The age-disparate relationship, while certainly quite common
in gay and lesbian communities, doesn't reinforce an unhealthy norm.
Even a wealthy older man with a beautiful young but broke "boy toy" is a
fundamentally distinct phenomenon from that of a wealthy older man with
his hot young girlfriend. The latter relationship reminds us all of
women's relative powerlessness—and of older women's disposability—in a
unique and far more damaging way.
This doesn't mean that young men (even those over the age of consent)
can never be exploited or harmed, any more than it means that, say, a 19
year-old young woman will invariably suffer lasting trauma from a
sexual relationship with a man twice her age. But though individual
experiences can and will vary, every older man/younger woman affair
sends a clear and visible signal to the outside world that our toxic
social norms are left untouched; every older woman/younger man
relationship sends the exact opposite signal. Free online dating sites for lesbians An older man and a younger
woman need to work twice as hard as an older woman and a younger man to
keep unhealthy power dynamics at bay. And so for reasons that have
nothing to do with our individual intentions, and everything to do with
the culture in which we live, we need to acknowledge that silver foxes
have more capacity to do more harm than do cougars.
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